Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So, they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. Matthew 19: 3-8.[i]
The Question
The Pharisees thought to test Jesus, maybe even trap him in his words, by asking him about a man’s right to divorce his wife "for any reason." Little did they realize that in asking that question, they betrayed a fundamentally flawed understanding of marriage. Jesus replied that divorce was not part of the original plan for marriage and that no one should seek to separate "what God has joined together"(vs. 6). Unwilling to accept “defeat,” they counter with a reference to Torah and Moses’ “command to give her a certificate of divorce” (vs. 7. See also Deut. 24:1-4). Jesus then stated unequivocally that divorce happens due to people's hard hearts. In other words, call it what you may, at the end of the day, people get divorced because their hearts are hard, irrespective of all the reasons they may give: irreconcilable differences; lack of affection; infidelity, lack of communication, financial irresponsibility, verbal or physical abuse, etc. Now, I know what it sounds like, and believe me, I am not suggesting that a woman (or man) stay in an unhealthy relationship, especially one that has become abusive. What I am saying is that, ultimately, when a couple has to call it quits, either one or the other or both allowed their stony hearts to govern their attitudes and behavior. To fully appreciate Jesus’ words, we need to go back to the beginning, to the very creation of humanity and the institution of marriage. Back to God’s original plan, just like Jesus himself did in responding to their first question.
The Creation of Humanity
Then God said, “Let us make mankind [adam] in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground. So, God created mankind [ha’-adam] in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Gen. 1:26, 27.
While the name “Adam” has come to be associated with the male of the species, as his personal name, the fact is that the term is first used as a reference to humankind in general and is often used in that way in the Hebrew Scripture.[ii] in fact, the first mention of “Adam” is a collective one, comprising male and female. It was to this reality that Jesus pointed the Pharisees in his response that “in the beginning, God made them male and female” (Matt. 19:4-6). So, the image of God consists of humanity in both its maleness and femaleness together. This is further emphasized in Gen. 5: 1-2 where it says, “God created mankind [adam], he made them in the likeness of God. He created them male and female and blessed them. And he named them “Mankind”[adam] when they were created.
Genesis 2:7 tells us that God created Ha’adam [the “adam”] out of the “Adamah” [ground—Adam being a play on the word for ground] and breathed into him the breath of life. At this point, “Adam” still refers to humankind as a collective, male and female, although the physical presence of the woman is still not manifest. Then through a divine act, the woman [issah] is brought out of the man [ish] (Gen. 2:22-23). This is the first time that actual, distinct words for man and woman are introduced. One can safely say, therefore, that the two started as one (Gen. 1:26, 27; 2:7), as “Ha’adam.”[iii] (Later on, we will be introduced to “Adam” as the personal name of the male in Gen.3:12 and onward.)
Man and woman were created as two separate but complementary entities. The woman was taken from the rib [side] of “the Adam.” I find it noteworthy that she was taken from his side and not from his head or foot. His side connotes equality, companionship, partnership, even. Had she been taken from his head, the symbolism might have been that she would rule over him, be his superior. In like manner, if taken from his foot, it might lend itself to the idea that she was inferior, a servant, someone to be dominated. Rather, she completed him. That is the true meaning of helpmeet (Gen. 2:18). Without her, he was just a human being, Adamah, of the ground. To truly experience his being in the image of God, he had to be relational with someone his equal (Ezer k’enedgo, the original Hebrew has that connotation)[iv], as he exercised dominion over the lesser creation (Gen. 1:26). “The Adam” must recognize in his helpmeet [ezer K’enedgo] someone from himself, a part of himself. “She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man” (Gen. 2:23).
The Creation of Marriage
Marriage was meant, in a manner of speaking, to reverse the separation and reunite “Ha’adam” into one. His expressive utterance of the words “this is now bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh…” (Gen. 2:23) indicates his recognition that the woman was part of himself. Thus, the marriage mandate given that they were to function in unity, as one (Gen. 2:24) was to remind him that in her, he was whole again, fully human, fully representing the image of God. Together they would have dominion and create new life, just as God had done all creation week.[v] And this they seemed to enjoy for a time, for they were naked and not ashamed. Why? Because there was true oneness, with openness and transparency between them (Gen. 2:25).
In this original state, harmony existed between the man and his wife. Their hearts were open to each other and to God. They were relationally strong. They were operating as “Ha’ adam” was meant to: as one. But something happened to change that and create dissonance and disharmony between them. Tune in to our next post to find out.
[i] All Scripture references will be from the NIV unless otherwise stated.
[ii] Paul Niskanen, "The Poetics of Adam: The Creation of Ha'Adam in the Image of 'Elohîm." Journal of Biblical Literature 128, no. 3 (Fall, 2009): 424, 426 & 432, https://go.openathens.net/redirector/liberty.edu?url=https://www.proquest.com/scholarly-journals/poetics-adam-creation-haadam-image-elohîm/docview/214612533/se-2.
[iii]
https://www.hebrewversity.com/original-hebrew-meaning-man-woman-romance-linguistics-meet/
[iv] https://www.ldsliving.com/the-true-meaning-of-helpmeet-and-what-it-teaches-about-womanhood/s/91103
[v] Niskanen, "The Poetics of Adam: The
Creation of Ha'Adam in the Image of 'Elohîm.," 429 & 430.
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